REVIEW: Spring Breakers

I wonder about myself sometimes...actually, a lot of times. But when people start saying that a movie defines the Generation Y people, which is the generation I fall into, I find out more and more about how I just don't relate to a lot of people...if at all.

It might explain the sort of emptiness I got from this movie.

I'm not sure if I have any true authority to say how good this movie is, because...I really don't know how to feel about it. It's got stars from other works that I like to avoid, it's directed by some guy I have never heard of, and it's a party movie. It's not a kind of movie you'll ever find me watching unless it's a strong exception. And with the way I've been hearing about this movie, I figured that it was either going to be a huge disaster or something else.

This movie is something else. It's an incredibly unique experience.

Most of the uniqueness comes from its story; in that it has one, but it's barely even there. Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine(the Director's wife, therefore, the one actress you've never heard of) decide they want the wild, partying life in Florida, which is shown in the first five minutes of the movie with Dubstep music blasting(which, I'm pretty sure the only reason why they chose that kind of music was to make sure people walk out of the movie before they see the rest). They are short on money, so, three of the girls rob a store in order to solve that problem. On the trip, they end up in jail for being found with illegal substances, and the person who rescues them is Alien, played by James Franco, only to take them on the further end of the wild life.

I can really only remember two of the characters in this movie as they were the only two characters of the five to show any kind of uniqueness from the rest of the main characters. Selena Gomez plays Faith who comes from a religious background, and she leaves the scene when she feels like it's starting to become too much for her. The other character I remember is James Franco's Alien, as he has a unique name and a big part as the overly into himself chav that everybody seems to like even though he's really just a sad miserable person who has a lot of money. Nobody, not even himself, sees him this way, so they figure him as some kind of prodigy. The other three characters are the rest of the girls, and they feel pretty interchangeable, but, I suppose that was sort of the point as it shows what kind of person would take on this sort of life style.

It may sound like there's a concise story from the description I gave, and while it is easy to follow, most of the movie is made up of just showing us stuff. The first half is to show us the light hearted, partying life-style that these girls find themselves in while the second half drags on about their downfall. It's less about the personal journey for the characters and more about lingering on the life-style these people have taken.

Maybe that explains this sort of empty feeling I got from this movie. I guess it's not that I don't "get it" but more about how far removed I am from these kinds of people or from people in general. It makes me wonder if people my age really do long for this kind of life-style, and if so...they probably should see this movie. I was sort of expecting something life changing, but I left feeling a bit confused.

The movie is interestingly made as the cinematography involves close-ups of...well, pretty much everything. I think it's suppose to give off a vibe of feeling like an extra friend tagged along and decided to film everything. And how the movie presents its scenes is like watching an entire act all at once. The scenes are made up of cutting back and forth between the things that happened later and earlier in the act. It can be really effective at times as we get a glimpse of how a character talks to one person while talking an other about the same thing, but having a different tone. The movie wants us to see this divide between how people felt back then and in the future. It'll even show scenes that was shown earlier but in a different context. It can work, but there'll be many times when the film is overly repeating itself to drive in a point.

And I suppose the point was that the kids finding themselves into these lives only lead them into this sort of existential emptiness, but nobody wants to point it out because...well, they're supposed to be having fun, dammit! And this is fun! It's what Spring Break is all about!

It's going to take a while for this movie to settle in to help me describe on how I felt about this movie. Maybe reading other people's interpretations and reactions might help me learn something, it'll just take time. But if it's one thing, I know that this movie is definitely going to stick with me for a while because of how interesting it was. Because of how unique its style and presentation and subject matter is, it's going to be something that is remembered. That alone is at least worth something. So, if anything, it's a movie that I'd recommend if only because of the polarizing experience that it gives.

REVIEW: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Not a whole lot of interesting movies have been coming out lately, but there was one that came out last week, and I felt like I didn't need to say anything about Oz The Great and Powerful because that movie is taking off with loads of money right now.

And if you're one of those people that hasn't seen it yet...well, you probably don't care either way.

Either way, I thought it was pretty cool!

Anyways!

It was alright. It's fine. It fills the space. I laughed a few times.

There, that's all I feel like I really need to say about this movie.

Oh....I guess you want something a little more in depth, huh? I'm not sure if this movie really deserves it, but, since you asked and I like you so much and you also probably don't exist, I'll go more into this movie.

Ummmmmm........

So, there's this guy who wants to be a magician when he's a kid. He also makes a friend and they become partners and stuff. These two kids grow up to be Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi with a famous magic show called The Incredible Burt Wonderstone and some other guy. But, after a couple of years of doing the same thing over and over again, Burt gets tired of this whole schtick, the other guy is getting fed up with Burt's grumpiness and then there magic show falls apart. In order to get things right back on track, Burt has to learn to not be a complete jerk all the time.

Also, Jim Carrey plays a magician who's not really a magician; his acts are mostly made up of him torturing himself in various ways like holding in his urine for a couple of weeks, lying on coal over night, etc...actually, these are some of the funniest parts in the movie, and it has a laugh out loud pay off towards the end.

Other than that, most of the movie was mostly made up of chuckles and me thinking "Man! Olivia Wilde sure is hot!"

Actually, the movie is pretty funny, it's just not entirely special or memorable or...really anything. It's got all the formulaic beats going for it and you can pretty much guess exactly what's going to happen in the movie just from the small plot description that I gave, but, for what it's worth, I had a decent time and there were audible laughs coming from the audience, so it kept people awake all the way through.

Hey! Towards the beginning, it's got that kid from Diary of a Wimpy Kid who actually plays a bully now, and he's actually really good at it! Then again, he's kind of a bully in the film he's famous for, but, this is the kind of kid he actively makes fun of in his diary in the other movie. Well, I thought it was interesting at least.

Also, how come no matter what happens, it's the second guy that never really seems to get the happy ending, even though they are the nicer guy throughout the entire thing? I mean, Carell kind of says the meanest things towards Wilde, but then he redeems himself from being a jerk to being only kind of sort of a jerk, but he gets the happy ending with the girl? Ok, fine, sure, maybe Buscemi looks a little too much like...well, Buscemi, but, still....We have to end this mistreatment towards secondary characters once and for all!

Ok, now I'm just filling up space. Bottom line, if you're just looking for an easy, fun film that will give you a couple of laughs, you'll probably get a bit of a fix with this movie. Otherwise....well, if you haven't seen Oz The Great and Powerful, I'd think you'd get a little bit more of your moneys worth through that movie. I'm not sure if anything too interesting is coming out until next month.

Paperman is Terribly Insulting!

I'll have more to say about The Oscars after I watch Life of Pi, but until then, this is all I have to say.

Seth MacFarlane was a really funny host. In fact, he was so funny, it made me wonder where that Seth was while Ted was being made.

Argo is a really good movie. Not my choice for movie of the year, especially when I feel like Zero Dark Thirty or Django Unchained were more bold and daring and even more important.

Brave winning for best animated feature is....ummm.....surprising. It was good, but every other movie that was nominated was better. Wreck-It Ralph seemed like it would have been the more suitable choice, but maybe the old guys voting felt like it wasn't good enough for being about video games(just speculating).

Alright, so, let's get to the angry part...

Paperman makes me mad....I mean, really mad!

I didn't mind it too much when I first saw it. It's got a really good art style....and that's as far as my appreciation goes for this thing. But then it got popular, people were getting emotionally touched by it, and now I can't stop thinking about it. How can people be so emotionally invested into one of the most superficial and, quite frankly, insulting love stories I have ever seen?

I guess it makes sense, though. The whole thing hits the right notes for the general public. First we have a guy who is your average guy and there's nothing really that special about him, but he's generically cute looking. He's got those big Disney Eyes, a modest looking smile, a sort of boyish messy set of hair, and a really big nose. The woman? Well, she's a mutated science experiment where pretty much everything about her is to make her look as gorgeous as possible.

Seriously, if you ever meet a woman who looks like that, get the heck out of there, because she's probably a robot assassin....and she's after YOU!

But this is a Disney cartoon, so we can trust her.

The entire story of the short: They first meet, they have a slightly amusing interaction, and while the guy turns his head for a brief second, the woman magically teleports on the bus without saying anything. And, against all odds, they some how meet together again. The stuff that happens doesn't really matter, it just matters that it was against all odds.

There, we're attached to these characters, we see the guy wishing he can meet her again, making us feel sympathetic, and then he does, giving people that warm and fuzzy feeling. My problem is that it blatantly hits all of those notes to make you feel the way you do by the end of it.

The reason why I feel like it's insulting is how the guy treats the entire situation. He probably lost his job because of what he did and it's all for someone who could be a robot assassin for all we know.....and she's after HIM!

Yep, let's keep that attitude going for everybody and start turning people into idiots.

It doesn't help that every other animated short was better than this one! You want to talk about clever? How about The Longest Daycare. How about something that's even better looking? Adam and Dog. Want something really wacky? Fresh Guacamole is probably going to be one of the weirdest but one of the cleverest things you'll ever see. How about another love story that's actually more meaningful and actually has things to say? Head Over Heels.

It just makes me mad to see what people seem to be getting out of this. "It's okay to abandon all logic and reason if it's for the sake of love." Fine, I know that's not what people are saying, but those are the implications. 

If this didn't get so much attention, I wouldn't have even cared. I would have just remembered as a very beautiful looking piece of work, and that would have been it. But, then, people had to twist it into being more than just an empty, meaningless shell, though, a very good looking shell. But, then, these are the same people who nominated Les Miserables for Movie of the Year.

Call me bitter, but I hope their relationship turns out to be a massive train wreck.

Side Effects

And, here we go! The first truly great movie of 2013. And it's by Soderbergh, a director who came out with another first great movie of the year of 2012(Haywire).



Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to talk about this movie without talking about the turns it takes into what makes it such a great movie. If you've managed to avoid the trailers or any other information about this movie, good! This is definitely one of those movies where you go in completely cold. So, I would advise you to stop reading this right now and just go watch the movie.

If you do feel like reading some more, then I won't spoil any of the turns this movie takes, but, you might as well stop reading anyway.

The movie starts off with that guy from 21 Jump Street getting released from jail after serving his time for insider trading. He comes home with his wife, Emily(being played by that girl from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo), and everything is fine and happy now. Except, it's not, because Emily attempts suicide by driving into a wall in a garage parking lot.

Emily ends up in the hospital and she gets a visit from Watson from the Sherlock Holmes movies. Ok, fine, his name is actually Jonathon Banks. Anyways, Banks is a psychologist, and he tries to help out Emily. After a couple of the depressive phases that Emily goes through, she gets set up on these certain kind of drugs and.....that's where things start going into different directions that you're just going to have to see for yourselves.

What's totally great about this movie is how well directed it is, though, this is a Soderbergh movie, and he's pretty much been able to show real directing skills on pretty much everything he's done. His most recent movies are some titles you might recognize like Contagion and Haywire, though, his most notable movie from last year was Magic Mike. I haven't seen Magic Mike(maybe I'll see it, it's gotten really good reviews), but all of these movies are really different genres, and they've all been really good.

This time around, it's a psychological thriller, and it's a really good one. The actors put on some really good performances, but what I think what makes this film work is the cinematography that's used. Effective angles are used to project the emotional states that Emily is going through. One of the scenes that kind of spoke out to me was when Emily was being put through this sedative, and the movie focuses on the characters looking directly into the camera while asking Emily questions. It feels a bit awkward, but it's kind of meant to feel that way, making us feel how Emily feels before passing out.

I think I'll touch on this movie later, maybe a week or so to make sure that at least one person has seen this movie, but for now, just go see this movie. I heard on NPR that Soderbergh might be retiring after this movie, and I really don't want him to. It's only been a year since I've been fully appreciating him as a director, and it'd be a shame if he goes.

Regardless, though, this is a really, really good movie, and you should definitely check it out!

The Last Stand

Arnold Schwarzenegger is back? Who would'a thunk?

It's a bit of a mystery as to why we're getting throw backs to action hero movies. We have this one, there were also the Expendables movies that were pretty terrible, and there's also a Stallone movie that's coming out as well. Well, the thing is, we don't really have any action heroes anymore. The only guy we have right now is James Bond, who only just recently started to being James Bond again. Almost ever other action movies has been pretty.....boring. In the action heroes' place, we now have superheroes.

I'm just going to blame this on The Bourne movies, because it feels like that's what a lot of action movies want to be anymore. Serious, action dramas with the shaky cam bullcrap that's been plaguing a lot of movies and anything that wants to try to be fun as an action movie will have people crying foul as it's "Not realistic" or "Cheesy" or "Silly" to all of which I have to say.....you guys just don't have a soul do you?

So, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back to play as Arnold Schwarzenegger to fulfill the role as Arnold Schwarzenegger.

To be fair this is actually a decent action movie. Yeah, it has problems. My biggest one is that the structure is off around the first half of the movie with it telling two stories. One story involves the FBI trying to capture a recently escaped drug cartel......guy while the other story is Arnold Schwarzenegger and friends waiting for something interesting to happen. It gives a bit of a disconnection to the story until the second half finally rolls along so we can understand why this movie is called The Last Stand, as Schwarzenegger's town is the last thing standing between the bad guy and his freedom.

The movie also likes to play with some of the most blatant and obvious tropes, but, I almost feel that was kind of the point though. It deals with a lot of "This is going to be important later", other wise known as Chekhov's Gun, and there's quite a bit of those in the movie. I guess it's why they kind of needed to tell the story this way so they can set up everything that happens in the second half.

So, after the movie covers everything it needs to in order to prepare for the big battle at the end of the movie, it is actually quite fun to watch. The action scene involves explosions, blood splatters, and, what else? Schwarzenegger pulling off one liners. It's pretty interesting though, as his one liners aren't really all that cheesy anymore. Ok, maybe a couple, but they aren't as over the top as I remember them from his previous movies. I think the people involved in this movie were worried that the audience would have groaned and left the theatre if a line like "He had to split" after somebody was cut in half. But, in this case, they may have been right.

Huh.....there really isn't all that much to say about this movie.

It's a decently fun movie and....that's about it. I'd recommend it, if only because there isn't that much else interesting happen during this month right now. It's fun, it's over the top, it's violent, and that's as much as I can hope for with a movie like this.

Sean's Top Ten Movies of 2012

I made a video this time around. This might be a regular thing. Enjoy....or don't.

Probably shouldn't have made this list before seeing Bernie.

Best and Worst Games of 2012

If you're thinking, "Hey, didn't you already have something like this on that one website you write on?" To which I say "Yep! We did!" But that was a personal pick from everybody and, weirdly enough, not even my runner-ups were games that other people chose.

And also, for those who are wondering when I'm going to do my top movies, I'm waiting to see Zero Dark Thirty before I do that.

So, with that said, I wanted to do my own thing where I can pick my Top 5, and I'll even get into the pretty crappy games. So, here we go!

Sean's Top 5 Games of 2012

Holy crap, what an incredibly horrible year for video games. If this were really the end of the world, I wouldn't look upon this year with fondness video game wise. Not only did barely any interesting games come out, we got to witness a couple of more events where gamers showed how whiny and entitled they can get because a game didn't end the way they wanted it to end and, even less surprising, more people whining about "feminists ruining games"

Great job folks.

Sometimes, what's difficult about making these lists is which games are the best of the best from many games. Sometimes, I'll have at least a handful of candidates, but here, I had three because most of the year was just one forgettable game after the other, no matter how high it rated it on Metacritic(which is another issue for another time). So, I had to pull out two other games that I pretty much only remember playing. Yep, 2 games made it on here by default.

*sigh*

And, before I actually get to the top five, I imagine there are a couple of games I'm supposed to care about so...

Dishonored: I've played a little bit of it, thought it was alright.....and that's all I can really muster to say about it. The stealth isn't exactly all that good, ranging from hiding behind obviously set up walls to just walking through hidden areas where getting caught is next to impossible. I'm almost convinced that stealth just doesn't work in first person, but then I remember Thief 2, and go "Well, one of these days we'll get it right again." The combat is alright though.

Far Cry 3: Haven't played it yet, I hear it's really good though, maybe I'll talk about it later once I finally get to play it, but I don't exactly think it'll change my mind on this list, but I guess we'll see.

The Walking Dead: Actually...this one is pretty damn good, though, it's been done to death. This is everyone's game of the year, but I also thought they have done better adventure games previously, with particular mention to Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse, where if the Walking Dead almost made me want to cry, Sam and Max's ending made me crawl into a corner and sob for 5 hours. Like I said, it's really good, it held my attention all the way through and is one of the best stories to be told through a video game but there was something better this year and this game has gotten enough attention as is.

Assassin's Creed 3: Errr, we'll get to that in a minute

Ok, now here's my Top 5

Number 5 - Out There Somewhere 

This is one of the games that probably a lot of people have never even heard of. And while this game takes less than an hour to beat, it's only 5 dollars and it was one of the most enjoyable times I've ever had with a video game this year. It's a 2D platformer based around a gun that teleports you where you shoot it. The puzzles start getting really fun and inventive and provided some of the best content I've played even if it was for only hour. The game has 2 space missions at the beginning and end which feel tacked on, as it's only there to make a cohesive story, no matter how simple the story is, but the core part of the gameplay is where it's at, and if you haven't played this, you definitely should!

Number 4 - Mark of the Ninja

It's like a 2D Batman Arkham game, but as a 2D sidescroller, with the emphasis on stealth, and stabbing people. And don't take the Batman reference lightly, most of the stealth revolves around you being in high areas, crawling through vents, and sneaking behind people to take them out. Ok, that describes a lot of stealth games, but you also have gadgets, like Batman, to distract and trap guards in order to make your way. With all of the things said about having to deal with guards, the game only becomes especially rewarding if you go through the entire levels without even being detected or even killing any of the guards. The game provides some of the best stealth I've seen in a really long time. It's like a good Assassin's Creed game that has never come out.

Number 3 - Lone Survivor

Maybe I'll just have to accept that I'm an incredibly wimp when it comes to certain Survival/Horror games, but only when they are done right. And was this one done right? Of course it was, why else would it be on this list. Sporting a really haunting atmosphere, some great music, and even a really good story, it's pretty hard to ask for much more from this game. But what makes this game unique is its emphasis on survival where you have to eat, sleep, and take care of your sanity. Because of this, you'll have to explore and scavenge places that you may be too scared to go through, but it's also the only way to survive. The game isn't perfect, but it has such high ambitions and does them so well, it's something that should be recognized.

Number 2 - Chaos on Deponia

Ok, I LOVE point and click adventure games. The first Deponia came out of nowhere for me, but when I got a hold of it, I fell in love. So, the only thing stopping that game from being on this list is the second game. As far as point and click adventure games though, these might be turning out to be some of the best ones I've played in a really long time. The puzzles aren't too daunting, but what really makes this game work is the story and its clever script. Deponia one was one of the funniest games I've played and Chaos on Deponia turned out to be even funnier, which is why this game is on the list over the other one. And if things really work out, we can expect the next game to nicely tie up the series and give us a great trilogy!

and....

Sean's Game of the Year for 2012....

Spec Ops: The Line

Maybe not exactly a surprising choice, but regardless, the game surprised everyone anyway. In such a drab year for games where we get more and more shooters, Spec Ops: The Line manages to turn the shooter genre on its head by....being a shooter. The gameplay is about as basic as it can get. You use cover and you shoot people. But the game starts becoming involving once the game starts putting weight on your actions and kind of make you feel pretty miserable for playing the game in the first place....and for also playing other modern warfare shooters. It's a game that should pretty much be the stopping point for other modern warfare shooters to come out, but, behold, we're getting another Battlefield and another Call of Duty game is surely going to rear it's head around the corner. With all that said, it's definitely not the must functional game, but what it says carries so much weight, it manages to be one of most important games to come out this generation. If you haven't played this game, go play Spec Ops: The Line!

And those are my top games.....but were there any games I hate? Oooohhhh boy!

Two games that come to mind that I didn't have an exactly enjoyable time with were 007: Legends and ZombiU. While these games were pretty much broken, they were at least trying to be something, and it's pretty hard for me to stay mad at the games because of that. But, there are other games that manage to make me hold in my anger.

Bottom 3 - Ghost Recon: Future Soldier

Ok, maybe not a bad game, but it's so soulless, I honestly can't think of a more boring game that came out this year. Like I said, there's nothing essentially wrong with this game, but it becomes such a chore to play through. Every time I actually tried to get through the game, my instinct to go do something else was just incredibly strong. But the worst part is that it's actually sitting on interesting ideas and it actually came from a series that's actually pretty good, with GRAW 2 being a genuinely awesome game. Sure, it had cover based shooting, but the tactics and the different commands of different units gave the game depth in order to make an engaging experience. Now the game has degraded to almost nothing but cover based shooting, broken up with mediocre stealth sections that only serve to slow the game done. It's the most forgettable game to come out this year on its own merits, but it's hard for me to forget when I was genuinely disappointed with how the game turned out.

Bottom 2 - Call of Duty: Black Ops II

This was originally going to be my number one worst game, but did anyone honestly expect this game to be any good? Sure, some might have liked it for the multiplayer, but I honestly don't care about that aspect of the game. What worries me here is the campaign and how screwed up it is. Functionally, it's fine, but, then again, it's the same game we've been playing ever since CoD 4 came out. Except, here, they tack on these sort of RTS missions that are completely broken as switching from different soldiers is always a pain in the butt and actually commanding your team is like trying to order a bunch of cats around. It just doesn't work. But the ultimate reason why this game makes it on this list is because of how scary it is. It's gruesome, disturbing, and it's that way for your enjoyment. Except, it takes itself seriously. It's not there to go "Hey! Look how crazy we're getting. We know this is stupid, but it's all for good fun" but instead just goes "America, **** YEAH!" with any hint of irony. This would have been my number one, but I don't think anyone was expecting much from this game anyway, and there was also just one more game that managed to surprise me with how awful it was.

Sean's Worst Game of the Year for 2012.....

Assassin's Creed III

Holy crap! I don't think I could have prepared for how badly this game turned out. The game series aren't exactly masterful, but I feel like the first two games are genuinely good games with the first one playing on a neat idea with a great theme and the second one making sure the gameplay actually works for the game and making a unique experience. Brotherhood and Revelations are really just there to pad the two games out, but they tied up the stories they left hanging pretty nicely. And while the story telling hasn't exactly been all that good through the series, Assassin's Creed III manages to be some of the worst story telling I've seen in a video game that already gets in the way of really boring gameplay that's manages to only be fun during the ship battles it offers. And while the combat is the best the games has had to offer, all of the interesting things get shoved aside so it can tell its dopey story with one of the most boring protagonists I've ever seen in a video game!

This game killed the franchise for me and I the only way they can redeem themselves if the next game manages to be amazing, but, by the looks of things, that seems to be highly unlikely, because it seems to be that a lot of people like the direction the series is taking and there's very little I can do about it.

Congratulations for completely dropping the ball and managing to still make people like you for doing it.

*sigh*

Guys, seriously make 2013 better!