The Hitchhikers

So, here's the film!

We also won at the film contest!

DVDs will be out shortly for any of you who are interested.

Jake Burga Presents...

A film directed by Jake Burga.

Starring Sean Conner, Jordan Johnson, and Ty Astle, and Featuring Curtis Burga as...that guy on the radio.

So, you might have been one of the people I invited to go see the premiere. If not, and you want to see it, don't fret. Info is right here!

https://www.facebook.com/events/155380654647520/

So, yes, after talking about movies for a long time, I'm finally in a movie and did some things that involved some sort of creativity and stuff.

You could see the movie right now, if you'd like, but I would actually like to hold off until the contest for people to get to see it because I'd like to make this a sort of event thing and keep people in suspense, even if it does make me lose a couple of audience members.

But, if you really feel like you need to see the movie right now, you could look for it on youtube

So, the reason why I'm making this post is just to express on how pleasantly surprised I am on how good of a director my brother, Jake Burga, is! He seems to understand how to shoot things and film composition and cinematography. In fact, the movie probably wouldn't have been anywhere as good if Jake wasn't behind the whole creative process. He wrote the script, shot the scenes, edited though scenes.

I just added a Wilhelm scream.

So, well, excellent job Jake!

So, after this, you could probably expect more movies from me and my brother, and maybe I'll have the directors chair on one of these movies. I think I picked up enough from watching my brother point a device at things happening.

But, really, I think my brother has really done something special and it has a good chance at winning at the contest.

So, let's get our champagne bottles and pour glasses for the fact that we actually made a movie.

Our next movie will be coming out with an even bigger budget and more CGI. It's going to be called The Hitchhikers 2: Even More Hitchhikers! The movie will feature 5 hitchhikers this time with even more explosions and CGI!

Well, hope to see you guys at the competition!

Pacific Rim

Before seeing the movie:

"I'm not sure how it's different from Transformers"

After seeing the movie:

"That was probably the best of the summer!"

A quote not by me, I was actually excited about this movie. But, I feel like somebody who actually said this should be the only confirmation you need in order to see Pacific Rim!

It is really hard for me to stop myself from just saying "THE MOVIE IS AWESOME! GO SEE!" But, sometimes, that's just the case with some movies. Also, it seems to be equally as hard to get people to go see this movie, but it also seems that word is spreading that this actually isn't just another cash-in Transformers knock off. Pacific Rim seems like it's going to be the sleeper hit of the year that surprises everyone by just how good the movie is. It's an absolute marvel of a movie that puts aside cynicism and moral complications for an extremely well made movie with a lot of heart and care to give us the monster movie of the 21st Century.

The story, for a summer Blockbuster, is actually kept simple for once. Alien Monsters, called the Kaiju, are invading Earth by way of transporting through dimensions through the Pacific Rim. In order to fight back, the Humans build giant robots, called the Jaeger, and beat the living crap out of these monsters. The monsters start getting stronger as time goes on, so the plan is to make one big asserted attack in order to stop the Kaiju once and for all. You have the protagonist who is called back from a traumatic event in order to help fight the Jaeger, Mako is the eager trainee who hopes to fight one day, two off-beat, whacky scientists who are also kind of awesome,  Idris Elba playing the leader of the faction, and Ron Perlman playing as...well, you'll see!

So, why is this movie awesome you ask? Well, good film making for one thing. Even if your not familiar with Guillermo del Toro, he has managed to create a staple among many film fans. But, with this movie, it's his chance to shine with a wide audience. The reason why this film works so well is because of the simplicity of it that allows the film makers in order to capitalize on other things in this movie to make it work. We're presented with world building, as in, what it would be like in a world with the Jaeger and the Kaiju fight each other, there are 3-dimensional and even fun characters with clear motives and character actions, and, most of all, great action scenes of giant robots punching giant monsters IN THE FACE! 

I can't stress enough on how well made these action scenes are. It's not just how the movie actually shows the audience on what's going on(in other words, there isn't any of that shaky cam bullcrap), but it's just the overall design of the Jaeger and the Kaiju. These things actually feel like giant monoliths just going at it on each other. Every movement, step, or contact they make with other things just feels right when your watching these giants in action. Also, the design and look of these enormous mechanical monsters and the actual monsters are just spot on. Each of the Jaeger robots you see are uniquely designed and easily recognizable from each other and the same can be said about the Kaiju as well. This isn't some sort of mess thrown together in order to make incomprehensible giant things doing stuff in a thing that resembles a story like Michael Bays Transformers, Pacific Rim is the real deal!

Man!

Okay, all gushing of praise aside, there are actually problems I have with this movie, albeit small ones as they don't really matter that much in the long run when the whole damn movie just works. The only problem that involves the story is how there's an action scene towards the middle that felt like it should have been at the end because it had a lot of build up and an incredible pay off. The final action scene of the movie is still pretty awesome, but it didn't seem to have the proper build up like the first one had which kind of hit a rough spot for me.

There's another thing about this movie that's pretty great but also something I found lacking. What's great is that the movie doesn't frame itself on how the US is the one and be all country in order to save everyone. They've pretty much got the entire world involved in this movie in order to stop the Kaiju, and even one of the main characters is Japanese. There are also side characters like the Australians, who play into a big role into the movie, and the Chinese and the Russians with their own Jaeger suits. My problem is that the Chinese and the Russians barely get to do anything at all in the movie and I was a bit disappointed on how it all panned out for them.

Still, when it comes to this kind of thing, we are making steps in the right direction.

Really, in the end, I honestly just love this movie. I've seen it twice by now and I still want to see it even more times. So, if you guys really need to see Grown Ups 2, at least give this movie a chance as well. I know a lot of you guys are probably unsure about it because it isn't tied to any sort of well known IP. This isn't a Superman movie, this isn't something from the Avengers, this isn't a J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie, so, it's sort of understandable to be unsure about this movie. This is something new and different, even if it's a sort of familiar setting for many people, it sure isn't for a lot more others. But, let me testify that this movie is very much well worth seeing. This is the action movie of the year, a new movie with a director who deserves this chance to blow people's minds in exactly this way. 

Olympus has Fallen VS. White House Down

So, for whatever reason, people decided to make two Die Hard rip-offs within the same year and only a couple of months from each other. And, not only that, they both involve the White House. Maybe there was something going on that gave people the idea of making a Die Hard movie involving the White House would be a good idea at the exact same time. But which one was good? Were they both good? Were they a bad idea in the first place?

Well, let's prepare for a death battle and find out.

I'll be comparing the two movies in no particular way or style, just what ever I feel like talking about.

So, here we go!




THE SETUP AND PLOT

Olympus has Fallen

So, there this guy, who is the protagonist(Gerard Butler) and the president and the president's wife on some sort of convoy trip. There's a big accident where the protagonist saves the president but is unable to save the president's wife. This sets up some sort of dark history for the protagonist in order to create some tension between him and the president.

Some time passes and the Protagonist has PTSD about not saving the President's wife. AND THEN! The White House gets invaded by Koreans. There's no build up to it; Koreans come in with a bunch aircrafts, shoot some parts of the building, and then just invade it. It's up to Gerard Butler to over come his trauma in order to save everybody.

Things happen and there's nothing that gets resolved for the president and the main character by the end of it all.

White House Down

Mr. Obama(But with a more american name for some reason) is having a good run after his election. He's working on settling peace with the countries in the Middle East. He's a great president that people love even if he's a little over idealistic.

Channing Tatum takes the lead this time as NOT JOHN MCCLANE, a veteran who is looking for a job for the Secret Service while he is taking his daughter on a tour of the White House. The daughter Emily, played by Joey King, turns out to be well adept on knowledge of the White House and knows her politics. She also keeps a video blog on this thing called the internet. I'm not sure what this internet does, but I'm pretty sure it will come into play later.

This movie does set itself up in the most obvious ways in fact. There are a lot of scenes that scream "I WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER!" There was this one scene where they make sure to point out that President Jamie Fox has a gold watch and I knew exactly what the payoff was going to be on that one, though, it's hard to imagine anyone not calling that part of the movie.

Either way, the White House gets invaded, but there's actual build up this time around. Instead of a bunch of guys just charging in and shooting people, these guys sneak in using disguises, careful planning, and timing in order to take over the White House. It's not just something that happens in order to set up the plot as we actually get to feel things building up and turning for the worse instead of it just suddenly happening. And instead of it being Koreans, or some guys from other countries that The US is afraid of, they are angry republicans, white supremacists, and The Military Industrial Complex. That isn't going to make people angry at all!

It's up to not John McClane and Jamie Obama to save the White House.

Also, unlike Olympus has Fallen, everything set up in the movie comes in full circle. Maybe a lot of it can be contrived, but at least it's there in order to make somewhat effective story telling like how the Protagonist may not have voted for the person whom he is protecting and how he has some relationship issues with his daughter. Yeah, like I said, pretty contrived but at least it's there while also not giving us a bunch of go nowhere plot threads.

Bad Dudes

People have still yet to top the story of this!

THE CHARACTERS

Olympus has Fallen

There's the protagonist, there's the president, and there's a bunch of other people. We're supposed to care about them because they're American. One of the characters even recites the pledge of allegiance before she thinks she's about to die. Isn't that touching?

White House Down

The president is an idealistic, I.V League Graduate who is trying to settle peace with the Middle East and also trying to give up smoking. Channing Tatum's character is having relationship problems with his daughter and hopes to fix that by spending time with her...at the White House. He also hopes to be a part of the Secret Service. The bad guys all have their clear motives and reasons to want to attack the White House and do what they want to do, but to explain, that would be spoiling. But, I will say that it all pays off in a silly but makes sense in its context kind of way.

But, what I'm trying to say in this part is that I can actually remember the characters in this movie other than their role in the movie. There was actually stuff to them.

ACTION

Olympus has Fallen

The thing about action is that there's a lot more to it then just what's going on between the characters in conflict. There's a special note you have to give to the sense of geography, what we can see during these scenes, if we care who wins.

Well, Olympus has Fallen gives us one note characters in badly staged action scenes in one dark hallway after another. You can never tell where the characters are in relation to everything else in the White House, it just deals with a bunch of guys in boring hand to hand combat with obvious digital blood. The movie carries an R-rating, but since they don't even bother using actual physical material to make it look even the slightest bit real, they might as well have not have even tried.

White House Down

There are actual characters in this movie, and we're made sure to know where everything is, making the set actually feel real. The movie works under a PG-13 rating, but the action turns out to be even harder than Olympus has Fallen, even if it doesn't bother with blood effects at all. Even if it gets over the top and silly, we're still more invested into what's going on, making it feel more real than other movies that might even bother with realism. And yes, in the context of White House Down, realism might as well be a dirty word, but it's also awesome and competently directed.

THE POINT OF THE MOVIE

Olympus has Fallen

To make money.

White House Down

To piss of republicans with its unsubtle message. Sure, it's cathartic and silly, but at least the movie actually means something.

CONCLUSION

Olympus has Fallen

Olympus has Fallen might be one of the worst movies I've seen this year. It was a dumb, pointless action flick that tries to be a Die Hard movie that doesn't really get what makes Die Hard such a great movie. But, it doesn't matter, because this movie made a lot of money anyway. So, well done guys!

White House Down

White House Down is a really dumb and silly action movie. But it's also a really well made dumb and silly action movie that actually does have a point to it. Yeah, it's unsubtle, indulgent, and bound to make people(for people who both like and dislike Obama), but at least it's there in order to make this movie unique. It indulges in big, loud set pieces that happen to be really dumb, but also quite awesome. Whether you're laughing at or with the movie, you'll still be laughing and having a good time.

The Heat

Yeah, just...go see The Heat!

Okay, yeah, I know what you're thinking, "Sean! How can you be telling me to go see a movie about some generic looking comedy that just involves the straight lead dealing with the bumbling looking side kick? This seems like the worst movie you can recommend." Well, I'm not going to say that The Heat is a life changing master piece nor am I saying that it's really that great. But when you get right down to it, this movie knows what it's doing and is still absolutely worth seeing because it is FUNNY! Remember funny? It's what movies were when they actually try to tell jokes without devolving to making references and expecting people to laugh all because you made a reference to something your average idiot recognizes. No, this movie isn't exactly the smartest nor the funniest, but the entire movie works in the end, offering a glowing light to what has been a pretty bleak summer thus far.

So, here's the story, though, if you've seen the trailer, you'll probably know the entire plot by now. Ashburn, played by Sandra Bullock, is having some rough patches as an FBI agent. Sure, she actually does a really good job in her line of work, but she has trouble getting along with people while also having to deal with the fact that nobody seems to liker her because of how well she does and also how uptight she can get. Her boss(Hey, it's Tom Wilson, look at that!) assigns her to a partner named Mullins, played by Melissa McCarthy, who is a foul mouthed, loud eccentric who likes to do her job her own way that seems to ignore a lot of regulations. Being the exact opposite of each other, they must learn how to work as partners in order to solve a case that both of them are working on.

Errr, yeah, I know it seems like the most formulaic and dumb thing you can ever put on screen, and, yeah, it is pretty formulaic; I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be skipping out on this movie because of it. But, the thing with this movie is that instead of using formula as a crutch in order to get a movie out without doing a lot of work, The Heat opts to use formula as a tool to accomplish to tell a story your well familiar with in its own way. In other words, making sure that it keeps the audience laughing as much as possible, and, to that extent, it succeeds quite well.

Not only is the really funny but it also provides really well rounded, likable characters. Seeing the trailers, you're probably thinking that McCarthy's character is a bit incompetent, having the jokes revolve around having Bullock's character roll her eyes every time her partner does something soooooooo wacky(!), but that's not the case in this movie. The characters actually do feel quite a bit realistic as they all have to deal with their own problems. And, McCarthy's character isn't as incompetent as she seems, in fact, she's quite capable of getting the job done, she just likes to do things in her own way. And, these are where most of the jokes come from, McCarthy's character pretty much saying some of the most outrageous things ever. Every other line of dialogue she spouts is some sort of snarky comment that just ends up being hilarious.

I can't really talk about most of the jokes here as if I did tell you what these jokes were, you would be expecting them and they probably wouldn't be as funny. But...let me just say how convincing a revolver with one bullet can be.

I don't want to over sell this movie, but as an R-rated comedy that actually turns out to be clever and funny, I've had a more enjoyable time with this movie than a lot of other movies that have come out this year. The movie doesn't exactly have a lot to say or isn't particularly unique(other then showing that it's possible to actually have decent female characters as leads through the movie), but when it comes down to being a comedy and it's this funny, what more could you ask for?

This is the End

This is the End....

This is the End alright!

This is the End of good comedy!

*ba dum tsh*

Oh, were you expecting me to review either The Purge or The Internship? Were you expecting me to even see those movies? Screw that!

Sure, maybe I'll see them eventually the next time I feel like torturing myself, but, until then, here's something not quite as bad as torture.

To be fair, I probably shouldn't get too mad at this movie because not even Hollywood seems to have faith that it's going to do all that well since it's being released right next to Man of Steel.

So, the movie is based on actors that you know who are supposedly playing themselves, or, more like "so whacky and weird" versions of themselves during an apocalypse. And, honestly, I actually laughed a couple of times during the times when the movie wasn't pretending that it was being funny and actually started being funny. However, those times were only few, making this movie to be kind of bad. Not really awful or anything terribly offensive to movie making itself, it's just that it's kind of stupid.

"But Sean!" I hear you asking, "This movie is supposed to be stupid and that's what makes it funny! I'm not one of those elitists, like you, who only goes to high brow comedies that makes references to Shakespeare or some stupid bull**** like that!" In which case, you're probably exactly the kind of person who would enjoy this movie, but I would also like to point out that you're a fallacious little idiot strawman that I created in order to make a point. So, don't worry, if you're reading this, I'm not talking about you specifically...probably ; )

Anyways, yes, I realize that the movie is supposed to be kind of 'stupid.' The premise itself is incredibly stupid and they just sort of laugh at itself along with the audience. And that's fine really. Unfortunately, that's all it really does and never gets anywhere past "Hey, look how crazy everybody is in this movie!" And, to be fair, most of the time it doesn't even go that far. A lot, and I mean a lot of the jokes are really just non-jokes where the movie just makes a reference and expects people to laugh only because it made that reference. Hey! Are you still not tired of somebody referencing Lindsay Lohan and it's supposed to be funny, because...well...ya know....Lindsay Lohan?

I'm not oppose to jokes that are created by references, just as long as there's an actual joke in there. It'd be like me saying "Hey, did any of you guys actually watch Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band with Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees" and expecting the two people in this world who could actually stand watching that movie all the way through to laugh. And since this movie is made up of Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinsons, Danny McBride, and Jay Baruchel who just sort of like to talk about the different movie's they've been in, but never really say anything other than "Hey! Remember this movie?"

I'm starting to think that actual humor is starting to die. And, for that, I blame Facebook(Yep, I'm using my movie review page to rant about Facebook!). I can just go onto Facebook right now and see the same four or five incredibly unfunny jokes involving cute animals, or a reference, or Hitler saying the word 'mein' in the wrongest way possible, or the same old tired photos of Ashton Kutcher from That 70s Show shouting "BURN" over some stupid Facebook conversation where somebody supposedly 'burns' somebody else with a snarky comment. Well, that's what watching this felt like for me. A movie that can get by on pretending to be funny, but if you actually start thinking about why a lot of the things in this movie are supposed to be funny, you'll kind of start to realize that it isn't.

Like I said though, it's not like I didn't find this movie to be completely unfunny. During the few times it actually strayed away from making references and actually just tried being funny, I did laugh out loud. In fact, maybe I found more things to be funny in this movie than I remember it being. But, really, in the long run, I didn't like This is the End too much. Now, I know a lot of people who did, including my dad and my brother and all those people who actually applauded at the end of the movie, so, I'm willing to conjure a guess that you'll probably enjoy this movie too.

At the same time, if what I said in this review actually meant anything to you, than maybe you probably won't.

At the same time, at the same time, Man of Steel is coming out around the same time anyway, so, it kind of doesn't matter.

REVIEW: After Earth

Well...yeah!

M. Night Shyamalan, what else is there to say about this guy?

I'm actually familiar with his earlier films, IE, the good part of his career where it seemed like we had one of next great, coming of age film makers. The Sixth Sense was incredible, Unbreakable was really good, and Signs, being the first movie I've seen by him, is one I'm willing to call a great horror flick.

And then he came out with The Village, which was an incredibly poorly made, boring film with a supposedly clever twist that also had nothing interesting going on before the beginning. And while I remember actually liking Lady in the Water when I first saw it, keep in mind that it has been a really long time since I last saw the movie and, if I saw it now, my reaction to the movie is subject to change. But, suffice it to say, it's one of his movies that has panned the hardest. I haven't seen The Happening or The Last Airbender, but with the consistent reception his movies seem to keep making, nobody has there hopes up for After Earth.

But is After Earth really as bad as you've heard? Well, I'm not sure if I can say.

To be honest, I was never bored throughout the movie and it does seem to hold together well even with its problems that you can go through. So, I'll give this movie a big 'maybe' I suppose.

If it's one thing that did intrigue me about the movie is that it actually plays by video game rules. The movie is about Jaden Smith and his father, Will Smith, getting trapped on a post apocalyptic Earth that has be vacated by civilized life. In order to escape, Jaden Smith takes orders from his father, who has been injured by the crash that lead them to this planet, in order to make it all the way to the end of the level by way of limited resources, a weapon that can change into many different blades, and checkpoints that he has to go through before the planet becomes to cold for some unexplained reason. This may not seem like it can be good story telling for a movie, but I kind of dug it, even if they never really do anything interesting with this whole concept. You can take your average first person shooter, where, throughout the entire game, there's somebody yelling orders at you to where you have to follow them in order to advance the plot, and you'll get a good idea of what this movie is like, except, unlike most of those games, the main character is actually a character, albeit, a very messy character.

The whole movie is kick started by having Jaden Smith narrate this battle that took place with these monsters who hunt their prey by sensing fear. By removing his fear, Will Smith was able to help win this battle. Jaden Smith hopes to live up to his father's legacy, and there's where the plot of this movie comes from. The movie isn't about a battle or what happens on Earth after Earth(even though it's the title of the freakin' movie) but more about a kid who wishes to be as cool as his father. Talk about a squandered concept.

The reason why I referred to the protagonist as being a bit of a mess as a character is because all of the pieces don't come together until the middle of the movie where we find out that he has a tragic history. To which I have to ask "Why did they wait til then to reveal that?" Well, my only guess is that since M. Night Shyamalan has also become a synonym for 'plot twist,' the director has to live up to his reputation of having a twist in every movie he does even if the movie is worse off because of it.

Well, since this is a movie that takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting, the obvious reference I can make has to go to that boring mess that was Oblivion, which might have been smarter(even if pretty dumb in hindsight) but also more boring. So, I'll give After Earth this. At least their's an actual plot. At least there are things that actually happen in the movie. At least it wasn't boring.

And, when it comes down to it, I'll take something that's dumb rather than boring any time.